Reflection on my 79 th years old birthday

On September 19 of 2025, I am 79 years old.  Although I have quite a few health challenges , I  am still quite a very capable person.  I still can climb Bird Hills, write essays, paint pictures and even begin to learn  transcribing popular songs. 

I am blessed with few elders who have guided me well to live a productive and happy life. 

My brother, Dr. Ting-KAi Chen is one of the role models.  My brother is 11 years older than I, he still lives a very active life. On his 90th birthday this year, he and his wife invited their church friends to his house for a potluck dinner.  After the feast, he made a presentation on one of the Shakespeare drama play of the Hendry 5th.  According to his wife, Ting-KAi had studied Shakesphere’s work and other Western literature for 40 years.  My brother told me that he writes his intention of the day and reflection of the past in his journal in the morning and studies literature before going to bed at night.  

My brother has been physically active through his life.  When he was a child, probably at the age of the elementary school kid, he and my dad took care of a family garden.  Every morning around 5 o’clock, my dad woke him up.  Together, they went to the garden to water the vegetables in the morning.  Then they would walk back home to have a hearty breakfast before going to school.  

In the 70’s when I came to the United States, he invited me to attend a Taiwanese American Conference.  On the first day of the camp, he woke me up in the morning to swim at a lake on the camp site.  Even in the summer day, the lake was still very cold in the morning, probably around 70 F.  If my brother didn’t budge me, I would not even try to dip into the water, let alone swimming in the lake.

Dr. Chen ran a New York marathon in 1979 when he was 44 years old.  In 1997 when he had a sabbatical leave in Taiwan, I visited him at Kaoshung, Taiwan.  Those days I was at Kaoshung, I saw him jogging in the campus every morning.  

When he and his wife moved to the Winchester County, N.Y., they established a strong Taiwanese Church community.  The house at the Westchester County is spacious.  They often host church services and potluck at their house.  The community members take care of each other like brothers and sisters.

The longitivity secrets of my brother are simple. He is both physically and mentally active by consistently doing daily walk, read literatures and present his works to his friends.  Above all, he has a strong tie to the community he belongs to  and never feel lonely. 

My brother-in-law, Dr. Charles OU, is another role  model for me to follow.  Dr. OU is 89 years old, one year younger than my brother with few medical issues including a poor eyesight.  Dr. OU lost his wife about 3 years ago.  At the time of the death of his wife, his son asked him to move to L.A. to live closer with his son and his  grandkids.  Charles did buy an apartment near his son.  But at the last moment, he declined to move to L.A. The reason is  clear; he did not want to  leave an already established Taiwanese Community in Washington DC behind. Living in Washington D.C for more than half a century, Charles and his wife had been in a Taiwanese Choir.  Being an economic major and a very smart investor, he has been active and still is very active in the Taiwanese based Credit Union.  

When his wife died in 2020, he rented out his basement to a single Taiwanese person.  They share the same kitchen and often share food together.  The sharing of the kitchen and occasionally the meals together relieves the sense of the loneliness especially in the evening hours.  

Dr. OU is also quite generous.  Being a smart investor with a stable federal pension, he is financially solid.  However, he does not hoard his money for his own.  He have been sponsoring Taiwanese concert honoring the first democratically elected President, President Lee Tung-Huai since 2022.  Recently, he also financially backs up a Taiwanese music web site, https:// lanetaiwan.org where quite a few Taiwanese music collections are stored and shared. 

Dr. Ou’s longitivity secrets are also very clear- a strong community, generous, and a very good sense of purpose of living his life. 

My other relatives do not  do as well as Charles or Ting-KAi.  One has recently been diagnosed with dementia and the other has been afflicted with diabetics with a few frightening episodes.  They are often Community isolated, and are not physically and intellectually challenged after their retirements.

My wife and I moved to Ann Arbor in 2023 to establish a strong family tie with my son and his family at Ann Arbor.  We are living quite an independent life yet see our granddaughter often.  We all became WCC Fitness Center members.  That was a very smart move for me and my wife.  Not only we established a daily exercise routine, we also made health conscious friends.  My wife’s routine includes 2-3 group exercises and swimming.  For me, the exercise routine includes an hour of resistance exercise, 40 minutes of vigorous cardio exercises, and approximately 30 minutes of stretch and core exercises.  At the locker room, we often exchange the health news.  Since I am quite well-informed of the health-related reports, I often find audience with my WCC friends. 

At the time we were searching the churches at Ann Arbor, we found that the First Presbyterian Church of Ann Arbor has a very strong music program.  With little even no hesitation, my wife and I joined the choir of the FPC.  That was quite a commitment because it means that we are committed to practice singing for 2 hours every Thursday night. On Sunday morning, we have to be at the church at 8:15 AM for anthem singing practice.  The hard work help us improve our musicality because we are surrounded by great musicians and singers in the choir. We also made a few choir friends because we meet and sing together at least 3 hours every week.  The choir has a traditional All Saint concert every year.  Singing at the All Saint Concert is quite an experience. For example, in 2022, Meeilei and I together with 50 plus good singers sang Mozart’s Requiem.  It was almost a once in a lifetime experience.

At Ann Arbor, I joined 3 recorder groups.  The recorder group at Saline Senior Center practices once a week. There is an Ann Arbor Recorder Society which practices once a month.  Occasionally, the First Presbyterian Church has a recorder which they practice several times a year.   Every recorder group is different.  The Saline group has few strong players but there are players who are afflicted with Parkinson disease . Parkinson patients usually show signs of dementia.  Why do they play recorder?  Because music is a very effective therapy for them.  The stronger players help out because the group is not competitive.  We mean to help each other anyway. I thoroughly enjoy playing all recorder groups.  This is because playing the recorder is fun, but playing in an ensemble requires listening skills to make the ensemble music sounds better. 

The most astonishing decision I have made this year was to take a Music Theory Class in the fall semester of 2025.  There was an occasion that the music director of the Taiwanese Presbyterian  Church to which my wife and I also belong volunteered to teach  the basic music theory to the church members.  I borrowed a book, “Music Theory for Dummies” and browsed the contents so that I could understand what she would be teaching.  The book talked about the circle of the 5th, difference of the major and minor, etc. I thoroughly love those subjects because the patterns of those concepts are parallel to the mathematical concepts  to which I have taught them for more than 20 years.  On the other hand, I was stuck  in the subjects of chord progression and triad. Then I learned that there is a senior free educational program.  Those events prompt me to take this class starting the fall semester of 2025.

Lastly, I continue to paint watercolor.  Watercolor is a meditation practice.  I practice watercolor to calm down my mind when my mind is agitated.

In conclusion, although I get one year older than last year, my interest in various subjects keeps expanding.   I would continue to take care of my body, sleep well, exercise, and watch for my eating habits so that I can continue to do the things I thoroughly enjoy.  I am grateful for what I have, and what I have done this year.  Pura Vida, I am alive. 

Pura Vida

 在 Costa Rica 渡假 一定要知道什麼叫做 Pura Vida. 其中 p 讀做 b, 而 d 讀做 l. 這個字讀起來像 Bura Vila. 

你幾乎可以用 Pura Vida 可以在任何場合。遇到人你說 Pura Vide, 就好像 英文說的hello,  台語的 gâu-chá， 華語的 ‘你好‘， 日語的こにちは。

但是 Pura Vida 的意思 超越這個這個 招呼 greeting 的意思 我來舉個例子

學生考試 60 分及格。你的小孩考 48 分。你的朋友𥅽對你說 Pura Vida, 意思是 48 分還不錯 比0 分好多了 

血糖 A1C 5.2 才是正常。你的A1C 是 6.8. 你的朋友𥅽對你說 Pura Vida 因為 6.8 總比8.0 好.  

我們從San Jose 到 Tortuguero 預估是 4 個小時 結果是 7 個小時才到。大家𥅽自我安慰 這是 Pura Vida. 因為大家還是抵達終點 而且沒有出事

在餐館10 個人點菜， 而且在沒有其他客人 情況下 兩個 鐘頭才吃到菜。Pura Vida 因為終於大家都吃到菜了

在 Costa Rica， everything slow down.  這裡的人 喜歡 聊天 英文叫做 very sociable. 動作慢吞吞的   住在北美事事準時。做事講效率的人， 我們對這些慢吞吞的 Costa Rican 的人很不習慣。其實Costa Rican 對我們這些從 美國去的人 也不習慣。他們稱呼這些人 叫Gringo.  1856 年 有－個 典型的 Gringo , 叫做。William Walker 想要 take over Costa Rica, 結果被 Costa Rica 當地的人打敗. 當時 Costa Rica 的－個英雄 Juan Santamaria 用 torch 讓Costa Rica 的志願兵看到 Walker 的軍隊 躲藏的地方, 才讓 Costa Rica 的民兵 打敗 Walker 的軍隊 但犧牲了自己的生命。Juan 成為 Costa Rica 英雄。San Jose International Airport 就用 Juan Santamaria 的名字 叫做 San Jose Juan Santamaria International Airport.

Costa Rica 在 1821 年脫離 西班牙的的統治是－個共和國. 其實 Costa Rica 沒有和西班牙打扙. Costa Rica 的獨立是分享到墨西哥獨立之福。墨西哥人和西班牙 打了十年的獨立戰爭 早期獨立的時候是有軍隊的 

但是 Costa Rica 討厭軍人 結果在 1948 年起個革命 從那個時候 Costa Rica 就沒有軍隊 沒有空軍也沒有海軍。在Costa Rica, 事事都是 Pura Vida, 為什麼需要 軍隊? 

我個人認為 Pura Vida 的生活方式 可以調節我們這些 Gringo, 事事講效率結果是心理病態像 anxiety, 或 depression 的－個非常有效的治療. 華語說。船到橋頭自然直 就是 Pura Vida 的意思

好書介紹。氣的樂章 The Melody of Life.

 2009 年, 當我準備結束我－年在台灣中興大學的學習休假 (sabbatical), 有－位在台灣才認識的朋友送我這一本書 做為離別禮物。這－本書的書名叫做氣的樂章  是用物理的原理講解中醫的氣宂理論和實際應用 這是－本我非常喜歡的書 現在來介紹給大家

這－本書的作者是王唯工博士。他是台灣清華大學物理系畢業 來美國的約翰-霍普金 大學 (Johns-Hopkin University) 生物物理博士。1973 年回台專攻中醫 用物理原理解釋 中醫的穴道原理 .  這－本書的理論部分 取自他的博士論文的－部分.

這本書主要是在討論人體的血液循環。他說 如果只有靠血壓 沒有辦法解釋 血液在身體的循環 第一 因為 微血管的阻力太大。  在－定的血壓 血液流量 是血管半徑的四次方。換句話說 血管越小 就需要更大的血壓來保持血液的流量  但事實相反 血壓是在動脤的時候最高  到了微血管以後 血壓就減少了。第二個理由是 血液循環如果只靠血壓 那麼我們人體最重要的器官 頭腦 卻在心臟的上面。完全違反地心引力的原則。

王唯工博士說 血液循環除了靠血壓以外 還需要靠共振來輸送血液。共振是物理名詞  它的意義是說 如果送方和受方 頻率相同或成－個比率 波動的振幅會加倍 在這個情況下 血液循環最有效率。他說 人體的每一個器官都有穴 或腔。英文說是 cavity 

熟悉音樂的人都知道。每－個腔或是 cavity 都有固定的頻率。cavity越小 聲音就越高。cavity越大。聲音就就越低。－枝小笛子吹的是高音  大笛子吹的是低音  女高音是用頭腔發音 男低音就要用腹腔發音。深呼吸的時候瑜伽老師就𥅽教我們用腹部呼吸。我們在合唱團錬習的時候 我們的指揮就會教我們先做肩膀和頸部的運動 而且教我們互相按摩。軍人行軍過穚的時候 都不能齊步行軍理由是 軍人齊步行走所造成的頻率和橋樑結構的頻率相同 橋樑𥅽有高幅度的振動。整個橋𥅽崩潰倒下來

這－本書的結論是穴道按摩有助血液循環 因為如果按摩得當 器官頻率和心率有個對等関係的時候 血液循環最有效率。這是王唯工用西方的科學來解釋中醫的原理。

我雖然對穴道不懂 但是我每天晚上睡覺以前 所有知道的穴道 我都按摩 至少我就覺得很舒服。在 WCC 運動以後 我𥅽把身體浸在熱水浴池 用水壓來按摩。

我們群族的朋友 常常回台灣探親。建議你們在台灣的時候 買這－本好書 

出版者 大塊文化出版公司 

台北市105 南東路 四段 25 號 11 樓

總經銷。大和書報

地址  台北縣五股工業區五工五號2 號

ISBN 986-7975-50-2

 

Sakura さくら

 Sakura (さくら）

Sakura,  cherry tree, or cherry blossom.  It is the Japanese National Tree.  It symbolizes peace and friendship.  Yet, even for Japanese, they have to learn this lesson from a courageous woman 150 years ago.

Her name was Shino.  Shino and her husband San-Long lived in a village called Shitsga, on the south bank of Komi river, which is approximately 50 miles southwest of Kyoto.  Across the river, Atsugi Village is on the side.

Sang-Long’s job was to ferry people from Shitsga across the river to Atsugi , and ferry people from Atsugi to Shitsga.  Everyone in both villages knew SanLong.  They love both SanLong and Shino.

One day, Sang-Long no longer ferried people across the river.  He was in uniform; and someone else ferried him across the river.

Japan was at war with Russia.  After brief boot-camp training, Sang-Long was sent to Manchuria to fight against the Russians.

In this war, Japan fought against Russia both at the sea in East China Sea, and at the land in Manchuria.  Japan scored big victories both at the sea and at the land. After the peace treaty was signed, the heroes were sent home.

On the day of soldiers’ returning home, Shitstuga village got wild.  Trumpet blaring, there were fireworks.  Villagers sang patriotic songs, and shouted patriotic slogans.

Suzuki san rushed to his daughter, his son and his wife.  One hand with the daughter, the other hand with his son, with his wife kissing his cheek.  Tanaka san and his wife hugged tightly as if they were just married.  Itasu san was single, but his mom prepared his favorite rice ball and gave it to him.

The crowd was getting thinner, and thinner.  Shino and other women were waiting; Sang-Long did not come home.

A month later, Shino finally got a bad news from the government.  Sang-Long was killed during the campaign at the Manchuria.

Shino was very sad.  To commemorate her husband, she planted a cherry tree in her backyard.  Everyday, she watered the tree and talked to the tree as if she was talking to her deceased husband.

Fifty years quickly passed.  Shitzuka was no longer a sleepy town. There was also a bridge built across the river.  There was a bus line going in front of Shino’s house. There was a bus station next to the cherry tree.

Fifty years after the war with the Russians, Japan was in another war again.  This time was with the Americans.  But unlike the war with the Russians, Japan was losing the war to the Americans.  American decimated the Japanese fleet one-by-one, first with the destroyer, then with the transportation ship, and finally the carriers.

Japan authorities were panicking.  The government ordered a decree to collect all resources to build more ships to fight against the American.  The cherry tree was ordered to be cut down.

On the day of cutting the tree, Shino chained herself to the tree. She said to the soldiers that they have to kill her before cutting the tree.

“My husband was killed in the Manchuria campaign 50 years ago, and I have been a widow since then.  I planted the tree so that I can have communion with my husband.  If you kill the tree, you are killing my soul.”

The soldiers back-off.

Pretty soon after the incident, Americans dropped nuclear bombs first at Hiroshima, and second at Nagasaki.  The Russians also declared war against Japan.  Japan surrendered to the allies on September 6, 1945.

Peace finally came to Japan.  Japanese citizens finally can enjoy the beauty of the cherry blossom .

さくら　さくら

やよいのそらーは

みわたすかぎーり

かすみかくもーか

にわいぞいずーる

いざや　　いざや

みにゆーかん

　

Oh Cherry blossom, beyond the horizon,

Is it fog, or is it cloud?

Come smell the scent, see the color, and listen to the whisper of the cherry blossom.  It is a symbol of peace and friendship.   

Mr. Chen, you are not my enemy. 阿買兄, 你不是我的敵人

 Over a hot summer of 1997, when my brother, Ting-KAi （廷楷）, was sitting next to my dad.  He was about to take a short nap when my dad turned to Ting-KAi, and asked him,

“ I know you are already baptized and you are a Christian now.  Tell me, how does Christinality teach people to live their lives ? “

Ting KAi was a little bit shocked by this question from my dad.  He settled down and organized his thought and reflected a couplet (對聯) his friend at New York Cities gave him and was hang over his living room.  The phrase is from Corinthia Chapter 13, Section 8.   The phrase was written in Mandarin, and it says,

凡事 包容。凡事相信

凡事希望    凡事忍耐

It (love) always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always preserves. 

Dad nodded his head in approval  then slowly disclosed his story approximately 60 years ago.  The time was approximately 1937 when Ting KAi was 4 years old and I was not even born.  My dad was young, and strong.  Besides, he also had a lot of opinions.  At the time, we were still at Long-Jin village  (龍井 鄉） which belongs to Taichung county (台中縣）。

The village had village politics and had different fractions because of the politics.  Different political factions often had arguments, even exchanged  verbal insults.  Being young, strong, and opinionated, my dad was also involved in such village politics.  There was an incident in which my dad was involved in the shouting match with the other side during a village meeting.  The two sides did not see eye-to-eye.

Then my dad was ill.  He was not only ill, but dangerously ill. He had jaundice. His skin and eyelids turned yellow.  If he was not treated, he could die.

At that time, the village had only one doctor.  His name was Tan I Tsang （陳以專）.  There was a problem.  Dr. Tan belonged to the other side, and my dad had exchanged verbal insults and shouting matches before.  My dad resisted to see Dr. Tan for help.  Then a miracle happened.

Dr. Tan came to my home to treat my dad.  After a few weeks, my dad was healed.  Besides saying thank you to Dr. Tan, my dad asked him why he came to help my dad.

“First, I am a doctor.  Healing a patient is my calling in my profession.”  Dr. Tan replied,

“Second, in my faith, I have no enemy. You are not my enemy.”

Dr. Tan was a Christian and he was referring to Luke 5 33-39 verses in the Bible.

..love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return…judge not, and you will not be judged; condemned not, and you will not be condemned; forgive and you will be forgiven; give, and you will be given;…

In fact, every Christian is reminded of this important teaching of Jesus during the Lent season.  Other faiths, although do not practice  Lent, also have similar teachings.  For example, Ms. Joy Hajoe, a Native American poet of the Muscogee Nation, writes,

And whom do I call my enemy? 

An enemy must be worthy of engagement.

I turn in the direction of the sun and keep walking.

It’s the heart that asks the question, not my furious mind.

The heart is the smaller cousin of the sun.

It sees and knows everything.

It hears the gnashing even as it hears the blessing.

The door to the mind should only open from the heart.

An enemy who gets in, risks the danger of becoming a friend.

My dad was greatly transformed by this incident.  He told my brother that every time he got emotional, he would ask the question, “ Would this reaction come from my heart or from my head?  “. This attitude served him very well through his life, because he would not do anything or react to anything that would compromise his state of “peace of mind”.  

For Dr. Tan, he had risked the danger of turning an enemy into becoming a friend.  My dad, 2 years before his death, reminded Ting-KAi, to find Dr. Tan’s son in the U.S. to deliver his gratitude to Dr. Tan.

“Dr. Tan saved my life”, my dad said. 

Dr. Tan saved my dad’s life, both physically and spiritually.

Butterflies, please come in. 推窗時有蝶飛來

It was dawn on a street of Chang-Hua city, Taiwan.  An elderly couple was walking on the street as a morning exercise routine before the sun came out and the day became too hot to do anything outside.  Suddenly, a truck came behind knocking down this elderly couple to the ground.  The couple was rushed to a near-by hospital; the wife was pronounced dead, and the husband survived.  

That was March 27, 1972.  The couple were my parents.  My mom died on the impact, but my dad survived.  After a few weeks in the ER, he went through a few months of rehabilitation.  Because of the rehabitation, he could not even attend my mom’s funeral.   

Heart broken, he went through a long grief process to heal his emotional wound.  My dad taught us that to every problem, there was a solution.  Now he has to live up his words to solve his own problem—his  emotional grief. 

At first, he wrote journals and collected all the stories about the day of the accident.  The journal was called the Broken Heart Journal (断膓集). The Journal temporarily helped his grieving process.

Then at the suggestions of my siblings in Taiwan and his friends, he went through extensive traveling.  The places he traveled  included Japan, Korea, Hong-Kong, China, United States and Europe.  Traveling gave him temporary reliefs of sorrow.  But, traveling itself was taxing his many resources, both financial and stigma.  Additionally, the friends he met during traveling,at most, were acquaintances.  After the traveling, feelings of emptiness and loneliness could quickly come back once again to his heart. Traveling to ease his pain was not sustenable. 

Then in April of 1990, I received a couplet (對聯) from my dad.  The couplet has 4 phrases written in Mandarin with a typical Chinese Calligraphy Art.  The couplet is displayed in Figure 1.

Fig. 1  A couplet that I received from my dad in April of 1990.

  Literal translation is as follows.   

手培蘭花七八載. It has been 7-8 years of hand cultivation of  the orchid flowers.

曰暖風和次笫開.   With gentle wind and sunlight,  the  flowers bloom one by one

坐久不知香在窒.  Unaware of fragrance which is all around after staying in the room too long.

推窗時有蝶飛來.  Butterflies flew in  when the windows were pushed open.  

The couplet was written in 1990.  If he had cultivated orchids 7-8 years before,  then the year he began this new hobby was approximately 1982, or 10 years after he lost his wife and I lost my mom.  When I visited him in 1987, I noticed a few things had changed  in my old home- the front room became a greenhouse for growing orchids.  When I grew up in my old home, we had a very typical traditional Taiwanese room arrangement; the most front and the best room was the  Spirit Worship room.  In Taiwanese, it is called the Shin-Meng Ken (神明間) .  Shin-Meng Ken faces south, ideal sunlight for growing orchids.  

Nothing disrespectful, my dad removed Shin-Meng Table (神明桌) and remodel the Shin-Meng room (神明間） into his work room for writing calligraphy, growing orchids and serving tea to the guest.  He just felt impractical and absurd  that spirits 神明 could occupy a whole room while the living people had no place to work.  

We also had a small piece of land on the side of the house.  Dad converted this piece of land into a tropical garden with guava tree, papaya tree and Bandai garden.  This garden had a lot of shades; it was a great place to get cool air on hot summer days.  Dad liked to show off this garden when he had visitors.  In 1995, Meeilei took Victor home and had photos taken in this garden. (Figure -2) 

Figure 2.  Dad was showing off his tropical garden to Victor and Meeilei in 1995.

The old Shin-Meng Keng (神明間), because of facing south, had plenty of indirect sunlight which is required to cultivate orchids.  Dad knew about the water and fertilizer requirements for the plants.  The biggest issue for growing orchids were the bug issues.  Just like the insects or bugs of any plants, those bugs only came out to eat the plants during the night while everyone was asleep.  Thus, if chemicals were not used, dad had to get up at night to catch and remove the bugs from the plants.  This is what my sister said.  My sister lived in California.  She and her husband visited Taiwan very often.  My brother, Ting-KAi, had one semester sabbatical leave in Taiwan in 1997.  On the weekend, Ting-KAi stayed with my dad.  Ting-KAi also said that dad got up at night to catch the bugs from the orchid plants.

Dad had brought his orchids for exhibit.  Dad’s orchids often won prizes.  Friends near and far began to know about his orchids and bought his orchids.  Because dad also wrote beautiful calligraphy couplets, neighbors and friends often visited dad, drank tea, had good conversations and bought either the calligraphy cuplet or the orchid flowers.  When my dad received money from his customers, he would take his grandson, FanJong (煥彰) , to the night market and enjoyed a treat at the market. Fan-Jong often came to my house to keep company with A-Kong at night.   Figure 3 is the certificate that dad served as a consultant of National orchid exhibit in 1991.  

Figure 3. Dad was asked to serve as a consultant for Taiwan National Orchid Society and Exhibit

In October of 1999, he had pneumonia, and was hospitalized.  It only took 2 weeks that pneumonia killed him on October 24 of 1999.  Dad often said to not worry about death, because death would eventually come, sometimes, sooner than you would like to expect.  However, he also said that be mindful when you are alive, making sure you live your life fully.  Dad certainly lived his life fully because of his full efforts on his orchid cultivations and writing couplets.  Figure 4 is another couplet he wrote to encourage us to get in the habit of being and staying healthy. 

Figure 4. A couplet that I found from his remaining in 1999.

Despite that, dad still missed mom when he was ill.  He still had the Heart Broken Journal (斷腸集)  on the side of his death bed.  I took the journal home in1999.  In 2008, when I had a sabbatical in Taiwan.  My brother, Wen-KAi, (文楷） took me to the tomb of my mom and my dad (they were buried together).  I presented the journal and paper money.  In a very respectful manner, we burned both the paper money and the journal.  We said a prayer to both dad and mom, saying that it was a closure for everyone affected by this truck accident. 

What had happened to those orchids and bonsai trees?  My eldest brother Mo-KAi (模楷) thought that because he was the oldest, he should have inherited everything precious from my dad. Mo-KAi  took all the orchids back to Taipei.  Unfortunately, those orchids died within 6 months.  None of my siblings had green thumb.  I should have said that none of us have the patience gettting up at midnight to remove the bugs from the plants.  None of us write calligraphy let alone write poems for couplets.  But all of our siblings have learned a big lesson from this orchid growing stories.  Even if it is just a hobby, doing the hobby with your best effort. Doing that, it makes life more pleasant and more meaningful.  In the end, it healed my dad and we have learned a big lesson. 

Grandpa, Smoking is not good.

 When my dad visited us in New Jersey in 1982, Victor was 5 years old and Leo was 3 years old.  Because both my wife and I were working at the time, Leo was sent to the nursery, but Victor stayed home with A-Kong.  In that sense, A-Kong was the babysitter with Victor  at home.

Victor got along with A-Kong very well.  Victor was learning Taiwanese from grandpa while my dad was learning English from his 5-year old grandson.  Victor was learning to say grandpa (A-Kong) and “How are you ?” ( li hó bô) .  We lived at 4 Barbara Street at the time.  I have seen my dad working very hard trying to say and write 4 Barbara Street.  In our backyard, we had an apple tree.  The apples from the tree were not anything special.  But to my dad from Taiwan where he rarely saw apples, those apples were very tasty to him. Thus, my dad was working hard with his grandson to learn to speak and write apples.  

My dad stayed with us for about 2 weeks.  Before he left to see my older brother, Ting-KAi, my dad planted a tree with help from me, my wife and Victor.  The tree was about as tall as Victor, a 5-year old child.  The tree was about 2 feet tall.

In 1987, Taiwan removed the martial law.  I took my family to Taiwan in the summer of 1987.  Victor was 10 years old while Leo was 7 years old.  When we visited my dad in Chang-Hua, he took my family to a hill where my mom was buried.  My mom died in 1972 by a drunken truck driver.  We went to her tomb to pay our respect.  We went there by foot.  

My dad smokes all through his life.  On the way to my mom’s tomb, he smoked one cigarette after another.  Of course, the second-hand smoke bothered all of us.  But everyone was quiet, until Victor finally spoke with a broken Taiwanese.

“A-Kong, jia hun  bô-hó “. (Grand Pa, smoking is not good). 

My dad pretended he did not hear the words or did not understood what Victor said to him. He continued to smoke.

A-Kong, jia hun  bô-hó “. (Grand Pa, smoking is not good). 

Victor said that phrase 2nd time and said it louder than the first time. 

“What did you say ?”  Grand-Pa pretended that he did not understand.  However, he relented a little bit and smoked much less often.  

After approximately 2 weeks of visit, we flew back to Wisconsin and did not think of anything about my dad either continuing to smoke or quit smoking until one day I received a letter from my dad from Taiwan.  In the letter, my dad explained that he knew he had a very bad habit of smoking.  Many times he had tried to quit but did not succeed.  This time, he was reminded by his grandson, Victor, to quit smoking.  And he was determined to quit smoking.  He did and he succeeded.  

My dad quit smoking in 1987, and continued to live a healthy life for another 12 years at the age of 93 years old (1906-1999).  I flew home to attend his funeral and his memorial ceremony.  The ceremony was arranged according to the Buddhist tradition with a Buddha portrait.  Besides the Buddha’s image was a portrait of Victor and Leo with the words “I love Grandpa”.  My dad treasured the loving relationship with his grandsons, Victor and Leo.  

Ten years later, or approximately 1997, I had a chance to visit New Jersey on a business trip. With a rental car, I drove back to see my old home of New Jersey at 4 Barbara Street where I saw my old home and the tree that Victor and grandpa had planted 25 years ago.  The tree was approximately 5 ft and 7 inches tall, as tall as Victor who was then a growing young adult of 20 years old.