Grandpa, Smoking is not good.

 When my dad visited us in New Jersey in 1982, Victor was 5 years old and Leo was 3 years old.  Because both my wife and I were working at the time, Leo was sent to the nursery, but Victor stayed home with A-Kong.  In that sense, A-Kong was the babysitter with Victor  at home.

Victor got along with A-Kong very well.  Victor was learning Taiwanese from grandpa while my dad was learning English from his 5-year old grandson.  Victor was learning to say grandpa (A-Kong) and “How are you ?” ( li hó bô) .  We lived at 4 Barbara Street at the time.  I have seen my dad working very hard trying to say and write 4 Barbara Street.  In our backyard, we had an apple tree.  The apples from the tree were not anything special.  But to my dad from Taiwan where he rarely saw apples, those apples were very tasty to him. Thus, my dad was working hard with his grandson to learn to speak and write apples.  

My dad stayed with us for about 2 weeks.  Before he left to see my older brother, Ting-KAi, my dad planted a tree with help from me, my wife and Victor.  The tree was about as tall as Victor, a 5-year old child.  The tree was about 2 feet tall.

In 1987, Taiwan removed the martial law.  I took my family to Taiwan in the summer of 1987.  Victor was 10 years old while Leo was 7 years old.  When we visited my dad in Chang-Hua, he took my family to a hill where my mom was buried.  My mom died in 1972 by a drunken truck driver.  We went to her tomb to pay our respect.  We went there by foot.  

My dad smokes all through his life.  On the way to my mom’s tomb, he smoked one cigarette after another.  Of course, the second-hand smoke bothered all of us.  But everyone was quiet, until Victor finally spoke with a broken Taiwanese.

“A-Kong, jia hun  bô-hó “. (Grand Pa, smoking is not good). 

My dad pretended he did not hear the words or did not understood what Victor said to him. He continued to smoke.

A-Kong, jia hun  bô-hó “. (Grand Pa, smoking is not good). 

Victor said that phrase 2nd time and said it louder than the first time. 

“What did you say ?”  Grand-Pa pretended that he did not understand.  However, he relented a little bit and smoked much less often.  

After approximately 2 weeks of visit, we flew back to Wisconsin and did not think of anything about my dad either continuing to smoke or quit smoking until one day I received a letter from my dad from Taiwan.  In the letter, my dad explained that he knew he had a very bad habit of smoking.  Many times he had tried to quit but did not succeed.  This time, he was reminded by his grandson, Victor, to quit smoking.  And he was determined to quit smoking.  He did and he succeeded.  

My dad quit smoking in 1987, and continued to live a healthy life for another 12 years at the age of 93 years old (1906-1999).  I flew home to attend his funeral and his memorial ceremony.  The ceremony was arranged according to the Buddhist tradition with a Buddha portrait.  Besides the Buddha’s image was a portrait of Victor and Leo with the words “I love Grandpa”.  My dad treasured the loving relationship with his grandsons, Victor and Leo.  

Ten years later, or approximately 1997, I had a chance to visit New Jersey on a business trip. With a rental car, I drove back to see my old home of New Jersey at 4 Barbara Street where I saw my old home and the tree that Victor and grandpa had planted 25 years ago.  The tree was approximately 5 ft and 7 inches tall, as tall as Victor who was then a growing young adult of 20 years old.