We can make friends with 'pain'

We all experienced pain in our life at a physical, emotional and/or mental level. None of us like pains; however, pain could be a teacher or a friend if we can learn from the 'Pain experience'.

Why Is There Pain And Suffering In Life?

For us as a human being, It is often only through pain and suffering that we take the time to really get to know ourselves and make changes in our life.  Many of us also do not value things that are too easily achieved, i.e. that we get without pain.


So why do we have pain in our lives? Our conscious and our unconscious (or soul) will give us  very different answers to this question.

How Our Conscious Mind Sees Pain

If we are honest, most of us see suffering as something unpleasant to be endured or avoided.

We see the better times in life to be those when we are experiencing harmony,
contentment and happiness. When we are content, however, we do not feel the need to search for answers.

The times in life that make us grow and give us the depth to our character are not those times spent in harmony, contentment and  happiness, but rather those time spent in adversity. In the  same way that a baby who continued to lie quietly and contently  on a rug would never learn to crawl and then walk, so it is for us. It is the times of frustration and pain that  move us forward and help us to grow.

There are times in most lives, when we feel we cannot endure what  life is throwing at us. During those times I remind myself that I chose this life and I would not have chosen things  I did not believe I could endure or grow from.

How Our Soul Sees It

Our soul or unconscious sees pain and suffering as the opportunity for healing, growth and understanding. Struggle is natural to growth. In the same way that metal is made stronger each time it is returned to the fire and then struck on the anvil, so too are you made stronger each time you endure adversity. Eventually the suffering and pain fades and you are left with the gifts that are their legacy.

For example, when I came back from Taiwan sabbatical, I was very sick.  Endoscope and colon-scope examinations found pre-cancerous cells in both of my stomach and colons. Additionally, my stomach was infected with antibiotic-resistant H. Pylori .  During the last 4 years, I had plenty of time to reflect on my life one day I thought back over my life and how I had reached this point. I made the connection between life's toughest moments and the character strengths I felt I had gained from them. I took the time to reflect those tough moments and thanked them for the experience and the character strengths I felt I had gained as a result of my interaction with them.

Although we have designed this lifetime in advance, while we are here we still have the power of freewill. Unconsciously, we can choose whether or not we will experience some of the suffering we had planned to help us with our growth.

This is illustrated in a story told by a subject in The Journey of Souls by Michael Newton. In the story a little girl fell out of a carriage and land beneath its wheels at age of 8. As a
result of this accident, she suffered immense pain in her legs and was crippled for the rest of her life.

Living and coping with the pain gave her powers of concentration above and beyond those experienced by other people. She used these powers of focus later in life to become an inspirational teacher. The fact that she was bound in a wheelchair meant she lived a life focused more upon mental and emotional rather than physical skills as she had deliberately unconsciously chosen to remove them from that lifetime. The very thing that seemed to be such a tragic event was the very thing that in the end meant she would become successful in her chosen career and ensure her personal growth.

While in a trance state the subject was able to explain the unconscious moment of choice she experienced before she continued to play with the carriage door until it opened. She knew that she could stop playing with the door and avoid falling out of the carriage and becoming crippled. She knew that if she did this, she would still have a good life, but she wouldn't experience the same level of personal growth and neither would she serve others to the same degree.

Find The Positive In Our Pain

As difficult as it sounds, there is reason to be positive about our pain and suffering. As a friend said to me while I was recovering from the illness, "Embrace the pain it means
you are alive". Although at the time I wanted to say rude and sarcastic things to him, in hindsight I came to find the truth in his words. Those times we are experiencing pain in
life are also the times that we are growing and learning the fastest.

In every situation, look for the learning we can get from it. Once we have it, the pain enerally ceases. Gain the  growth and cease the pain. If the pain continues, it is a good indication that there is still something for us to 'get' (a lesson or understanding) from the experience.