When I have no judgement, I see everyone with kindness

The following message is taken from one of the teaching sessions of Oprah and Deepak 21 days Manifest Grace through Gratitude. This session is about why we should not be judgmental against another human being.

Intrinsic connection between gratitude and compassion. Compassion is about knowing that you are human, I am human; we are all connected with similarity outweigh the difference. When we judge another human being, we deny the connection that tie us all. If we refrain from judgement, we become a conduit for peace and happiness.

There is a hidden link between gratitude and compassion. When we feed kindness in our heart, we are compassionate. This has been taught both by Jesus and Buddha. However, for most of us, compassion seems to be impossible when we are judgmental or someone had committed evil deeds. Judgement is fueled by sense of rightfulness. Our ego enjoy the judgement to the fullest. It is like nothing is better than the feeling that we are the in the right. The problem with the judgement is that if we are in the right, then we put someone else in the wrong. Judgement provides a powerful sense of separation. On the other side of the gulf, the person we judge against, they will also be judging us as harshly as we do to him. Being thankful is the opposite of being judgmental. When we are thankful for something or for someone, we cannot be judgmental at the same time. This part has a great healing power. So, next time, if we have to be judgmental against someone, always find reasons to be thankful for that person is in your life. Getting down the judgmental chair, it completely shift our attitude. Instead of condemning, try to help the person, and offer forgiveness. In the absence of judgement, there is nothing to resent. Grudging begins to lose ground. When we forgive, our awareness becomes more inclusive that opens up the door of compassion linking every human being together with empathy. This shared empathy deepens our humanity. When we stop judging someone else, we stop judging ourselves. If we get to that state, we are then in the state of grace and awakening.

Loving with gratitude

The following is a recording message from Oprah and Deepak's "Manifest Grace through Gratitude".

According to Marianne Williamson, there are only 2 emotions in life: love and fear. When we open up love with gratitude, something miraculously happen. Fear starts to melt away. Love is life's great teacher. Through love, we experience joy, acceptance and freedom. Gratitude is not someone receives or responds to us, but rather about how we connect the true expressions of ourselves. When we choose to love everything around us, we send to clear message to the Universe: My love transcends fear, anger, and rejection. I love you even to those who hurts me because they are the persons who really need love most. I thank you for the experience, good or bad, which has shaped me who I am today. Loving fearlessly through gratitude is one of the greatest thing a human being can do.

Grace has been connected to love in every wisdom tradition. Sages and spiritual guides teach us that divine love doesn't have to be deserved. To a modern person, this seems to be unreasonable, because for most of us, we withdraw love when we are displeased. God, or whatever name applied to the 'High Power' seems to love bad people too. This is the central part of grace. The reason is that grace is not a choice. Whether or not, we believe in the Higher Power, grace exists in infinite field of consciousness. It is the supporting principle behind everything in nature. Including our lives. Clearly we can choose to think whatever we like, without nature's support, our body cannot exist for more than a few minutes. Spiritually, this support is called the divine love. We don't have to accept the word or the idea of divine to accept the basic idea here. Love is already a part of our awareness. We can choose to express it or not. To give a little love, or a lot. If we choose to give a lot, something magical happens. We become who we really are. This is one of the most joyful aspect of love, but also the most frightening for most people. We hold back the expression of love for fearing of being rejected, of seeming needy or weak, or exposing us our own insecurity or vulnerability. But nothing stops us from giving thanks to someone sharing our life. This act of gratitude gladdens the heart and awakens the grace in our life. Love is active when it is expressed. Gratitude simplifies love by removing the ego. The mother's love for a child with fearless appreciation of the child is the template for merging love with gratitude. Love is an expression of unity that we share with other people. Love means overcoming the feeling of separation. It brings us for completion that denies to the ego.

The more grateful I am, the more my life is supported

The following is Deepak's words in "Manifest Grace through Gratitude", Day 11 recording message. Enjoy the reading.

In the moment of grace, we feel safe and worthy. The atmosphere of love is all around us. These 'privileged' moments are beautiful. But if we look through this on the moment, we will see nature is generous and supportive. We are supported all the time because we are unique in the cosmic universe. No one like us has ever existed and we can not be replaced. It takes inner growth to see this truth and own it. Every time we meditate and express gratitude, we move one step closer to this truth. This is not the fulfillment we must postpone. We can live right now with the perspective that Nature is supporting us. Abundance and generosity fills the Nature's Law. The only separation comes from our own imposition through our old conditioning and wrong beliefs. The more we appreciate,the more we realize the extent that Nature has done for us. Feeling unworthy or feel victimized, these are symptoms of constricted awareness. We become 'someone' standing on a river and are able to drink from a symbol. If we realize these symptoms are our current situation, we need to take actions to correct the situation. Meditation and gratitude allow us to correct the situations.

The reason that Nature is generous is because its constant replenishment keeps the lives going and growing. Without this generosity, a rose bud cannot grow into a bloom neither can a human being. Once we are aware of this truth, we can be more generous in our life. Giving isn't a loss anymore; but a passing of gift that is always renewed. Expanding on the inside is reflected on the greater success of the outside. Gratitude links these 2 domains of life, the inner and the outer.

Gratitude flows in every loving relationship

The following messages are from Oprah and Deepak in their "Manifest Grace through Gratitude" Day 10 recording. Enjoy reading it and welcome your comments.

Gratitude expands every relationship. When we feel gratitude at the moment, we cultivate up acceptance and openness to the person we are relating to. We accept everything 'as is'. We connect what really matters. This is the most powerful gift to the person in our life. In this way, we dissolve the difference that separates us from one another, and open a way for deeper connection.

Whatever relationship needs is a touch of grace which is triggered when we show gratitude to the other person. Gratitude is magical as it dissolves differences and removes obstacles. But the magic really comes down to the basic facts: To have a fulfilling relationship, we must relate. There is an unbroken flow between us and the person we are relating to. The things we give and the things we receive are the life of the relationship. Giving is most powerful at the emotional level. If we express gratitude to our partners, our words are metabolized in the brain of both the giver and the receiver that manifest mental and physiological changes on both the giver and the receiver. Think about the difference you would feel when someone is thankful to us in their life. It soothes the heart and dissolves all the grievance and resentment. Relationship flourishes when we are able to offer ourselves to one another with unlimited love,compassion, kindness and understanding. This idea is hard to reach without our expanded awareness. Our own desires and ego needs stands the way. But our true-self knows better. Grace accomplishes what ego cannot. We are not loaded up when we express gratitude. Instead, we are opening up for infinite awareness which can accomplish everything. The reverse is true when we stop giving and receiving, the flow of the grace is constricted. Grace through gratitude can keep this flow to open even when the relationship is constricted. Be grateful here and now; don't indulge in the illusion of the old dream. The real potential is waiting to be awaken. When we allow ourselves to be grateful, we form a bond with our partners that heeds separation. This is how the relationship enable a couple to accomplish any difficult tasks when two are one.

Another story I read from Shamhala Publisher Sampler is about a couple seeking help from a marriage councilor. The councilor advises the couple to do each other a random kindness and express gratitude each time your partner practice kindness. These mutual 'kindness' and 'gratitude' help the couple to save the broken relationship.

Being the author of our life story

The following message comes from Chopra in his 21-day manifest grace through gratitude.

Reality is always personal. Every experience is filtered through our own attitude and core values. Our mood also affects how the reality really looks. Our emotion is always responding even they are not visible. Therefore, no two people exists in the same reality. We are unique on how we see the world. The wisdom teaches us everything starts with our own awareness. Therefore, this is the place that we can take control of our personal reality. Are we beautiful, intelligent, creative, loyal? we don't need reassurance from outside sources or other persons. We are the true sources of all the qualities who we really are. Only we can be our own author of our life stories. The unique thing is that we still can change our life story outcomes at any moment; possibilities do not have an expiration date. Everyday is a day for a new world. Even we see the same people everyday, eat the same breakfast and watch the same TV show, it is a different 'self' who does these things. We will never be the person we were yesterday; or the same person we will be tomorrow. Gratitude connects us to today's reality. If the 'self' from our 'thought' is constantly changing, holding the reality to our thought is an illusion. When we let go the illusion, what remains are real which is our true-self. Begin to experience life based on the freshness of every moment. This is how grace constantly renew itself. This is how we become the author of our own life stories.

Gratitude enriches present moment

Every present moment has its own energy, its own feeling and has its own signature. This brings something very practical. Grace can only be found at the present moment and no where else. When we feel alive, we are at the present moment. The connection happens automatically. However, living at present is always a challenge living in this consumption-oriented society. Everyday we are bombarded with the message that we always have something we don't have and we have to 'buy': there is an ideal beauty to strive for, and expensive symbols for perfect life. No one is supposed to have a perfect life right at this moment. 'Getting one' involves constant postponement. But whatever we postpone, we are not experiencing here and now. The feeling of living at present is always lacking. 'Life right now' is not enough.

Gratitude turns this around. We learn how to appreciate what we have been given right at this moment. We are not stuck in the past or in the anxiety of the future. Gratitude shifts our attention from what do don't have to what we have at the present moment. It changes our empty habits of constant anxiety getting something else to feel complete.

Spiritual leaders taught us, "Say Yes to the present moment" and "Say Yes to life." Both Oprah and Deepak want us to change the phrase from 'Say Yes' to "Thank you." This is the message from Oprah and Deepak's "Manifest Grace through Gratitude" Day 6 message.

Any comment?

Gratitude awakens trueself

According to Deepak, each person has many 'self'. The one shown at the work place; the one shown in the family; with a lover; or with the person we dislike. But all of these are temporary. We identify with them when they are needed. But deep inside our heart is our "true self". The "true self" is silent but not passive. The "true self" can be brought to active role by practicing gratitude. Once "true-self" is awaken, everything you see, you hear, you taste, etc. is all wonderful. When you see a beautiful flower or butterfly, you will say, "that is me". There is no separation between you and the universe. You are in a state of grace. It is like still water deep in the ocean. On the surface, there are waves, schools of life or emotion. But the water in the deep ocean is still. It is called "Still water runs deep" waiting to be awakening to take an active role for our life.

This message to me is a diversion between Buddhism (or what Deepak preaches) and Christianity. Deepak believes that true-self is a grace and it can be awakened through practicing gratitude. In Christianity, all human beings are sinners. They can reach the state of grace only through repentance.

What is your opinion?

Expressing gratitude, grace is flowing back to us

The more we discover about body, mind and spirit is connected, the more we see that everything flows naturally.  Once we awaken the gratitude, there is a response that close the circuit:  we are heard, we are understood, and we are appreciated.  That is how life is going on by a continuous feedback between gratitude and grace.When we take a moment to be grateful, grace responds.  It tells us that we are in the flow which keeps the life evolving.  But how do we know that grace responds to our gratitude?  Some signal comes from within.  We feel a sense of calm and peace.  There will be moment of joy. Our perception will also change. Suddenly, a bare tree becomes magnificent with beautiful shape and harmony, a perfect creation instead of a bare skeleton.  Some are from external. Someone we did not know much before suddenly shows us at our doorsteps and expressing appreciation; a difficult task becomes easier;and  an unexpected answer arrives. What connect inner and outer, it means that we have joined the flow of wholeness.  Everything will appear more effortless, more enjoyable and more vibrant.  Grace is like a rain, it falls everyone alike.  Grace is a nurturing element of life just like water and air.  Grace comes from within, grace is creative and intelligent; it knows what we want in our life.

When I was in the Christine church, I was also taught to practice prayer expressing gratitude.  But Deppak's explanations as shown in the previous paragraph makes me understood why we should continuous express gratitude at any moment; it is the only way that we can join the flow of the wholeness.

Gladden our heart for gratitude

Gratitude, according to Oprah, is an energy that expand and elevate us. It turns chaos into order, denial into acceptance, confusion into clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, and a stranger into a friend. Nothing has changed. It is 'You' have changed. When you change the attitude, everything surrounding you also changes.

Yet, gratitude requires a joyful heart. We simply cannot feel gratitude if we are bitter, or angry at somebody or distress, or feel not safe or welcome deep in our heart. Gladden our hear implies recharge 'our battery for this energy to flow into heart. Buddhists' view of gladden our heart, or in plain English, recharge our battery is through deep meditation for awakening to regain our joyful heart.

During meditation, it is not the totally 'manicured lawn' or shining car that will awaken us. You can justly simply gaze a light from the sun and observe a 'dancing' particle in the light beam and realize that 'You' are part of this abundant universe dancing like the dust particle in the light; connecting with all members of the universe.. When you and I feel that we are not abandoned by this abundant universe, you and I are gladdening our hearts and are ready to feel gratitude for life transformation and miracle.

In Christianity, this abundant universe is God. The Bible also teaches us no matter what situation we have encountered, we are not abandoned by God. By realizing that we are ready to feel gratitude and experiencing life transformation.

In the sense, both Buddhism and Christianity teach the same thing.

Miracles only come to the grateful person not to the person with grievance

Gratitude leads to miracle and life transformation. The practice is not new. Ancient people practices this either daily, or monthly. Taiwanese women fasts every 1st and 15th of the month and offers incense, food to god! goddess, and ancestors expressing gratitude. Our national holiday, Thanksgiving Day, has the same 'expressing gratitude' significance. They offered thanks to god; the god responded with more good things to the people.

The reason for this life transformation, according to Depaak Chopra, is because once a person shows feeling of gratitude to any good things in life, it begins to change the wiring of the brain so that we will be paying more attention to what we have, less attention to what we don't have. Thus a close-loop cycle starts: when we show the feeling of gratitude to someone, or something good in our life, the 'source' responds with more 'good' things, and we will be more perceptive to the 'good' things in our life. This happy 'brain' brings about life transformation. Chopra suggests that we express gratitude with our heart at every moment, not just to God, but to every situation that deserves to be grateful.

How do we practice 'gratitude to miracle' daily? According to Chopra, find 3 good things in the morning. These 3 things do not have to be 'very important' or 'significant'. For example, when we get up in the morning, we see the sun light, we hear the bird singing, and we see the flowers blossom. Those are three good things. Offer gratitude to all of them with our 'feeling' . According to Chopra, 'feeling' is mostly important in leading to miracle and life transformation.

Any more suggestions?

Old folks are as bad as young folks in terms of pride and ego

We often assume as we get older, we get wiser; at least we are better and easier of letting-go the ego than the younger folks. This may not be true as I can see in my eyes with our senior tennis games today at the tennis club.

I was playing at Court #2; we had a great and enjoyable matched. On Court #1, two teams were playing a double-match. One teams were Rodney (Age 92) and Dick (Age 88). The other team were Ruth (age 86) and Marianne (Age 85).

30 minutes after the game, these two teams began to argue about a call (whether a good call or a bad call). The argument were so heated that one player, Rodney (Age 92) stomped out of the court leaving the other players not able to continue to play.

One of the players in my court commented, "Win or lose, does that matter in this tennis social? "

Having fun and enjoyable life ? Or having the 'pride and ego' and lose all the friendship, relationship, or enjoyment?

We might laugh at those old folks 'silly'. However, if we look closely to ourselves we might not much better off. How many couples went to divorce courts due to those 'silly moment'. Microwave not working, blame the spouse. Computer papers flying off the printer, blame the spouse. When the sump-pump not working, "if you don't help me now, I divorce you. The ego, the pride, and the blaming culture cultivated in our society contributes to many broken relationship and friendship in our society.

We must continuously remind ourselves about the purpose of life and don't lose sights in 'ego' or 'pride'. As we get older, we don't necessarily get better in this perspective.

Old life, New life

A week ago, we sent off a friend who has relocated his job to Taiwan. To relocate, he sold off everything he had in Wisconsin, cars, houses, even bicycles, furniture store, etc. This was how he prepared to end an old life in Wisconsin and entering a new life in Taiwan.

In 2009, when I finished my sabbatical in Taiwan, I did exactly the same thing. I even donated most of my earning in Taiwan to my host university. When I left Taiwan, I had almost nothing as I finished my old life in Taiwan and starting a new life in Wisconsin.

Every time, we reach a life stage change, this cleansing will continue. These are metaphors for life and death. The biggest life stage change in our life is death as our soul detaches our body and never return. The souls never vanish: they either go to heaven/hell (according to Christianity or Jewish religion ), paradise/hell (Islam religion), or reincarnate to become a worm, or butterfly, or another human form (Buddhism religion). All our egos, money, possessions, cars, houses, are gone in this life change event. The only thing we carry over is our karma, and the soul; no much difference our past experience of many life- change events.