Sunday, November 10, 2013

I live with lymphoma for 40 years--Healing Story, Part III

(Continued from Part II,  Lee Feng's Healing Story)

Healing Strategy

Let's me summarize my healing strategy:


Diet Changes

The fastest way to heal is to change our diets.  All the nutrition, macro and micro-nutrients we need come form food we ingest.  At the same time, if the food we eat contains cancer-causing substances, how can we avoid cancer?

The additives in our food are major causes of cancers.  The quantity we eat can influence our health too.  In the past when everyone was so poor that malnutrition could affect a person's health.  Today, most people are overfed but under-nourished.  The results are type-2 diabetics, high blood pressure, heart attack, and cancer.

The principle of dieting is not to eat processed food (that contains additive), not to eat rotten food, not to eat meat.  Eat more fresh vegetable and fruit.  I am on vegan diet not due to my religion.  It is because my digestion system demands me on vegan diet.

For the following cancer patient (stomach cancer, colon cancer, ovarian cancer, breast cancer and prostate cancer), my advice is to be on the vegan diet.  For other type of cancer patients, I advise them slowly stopping meat:  first, stopping eating meat from those 4-leg animals (beef, pig, etc.), then stopping eat meat from 2-leg animals (chicken, duck, etc.).  The earlier the patients on the vegan diet, the faster the healing.  This is because most meat contains hormone substances that are primary carcinogen.

Many patients asked me if they need milk or egg to supplement nutrition needs for a vegetarian diet.  I say that milk is for the calf while eggs are designed for a new life (chick).  They are not designed for human consumption.  Some patients asked if they didn't drink milk or eat eggs, would they be deficient of calcium?  I told them that all the calcium we need could be obtained from vegetable diet.  In fact, Chinese who live on vegetable diet seldom have osteoporosis problem.  On the other hand, the Alaskans who live on the meat have the worst osteoporosis problem. 


Exercise

Another faster way for improving health is exercise.  Human beings have innate healing power.  Those healing power often loses under internal and external living pressures.  Exercise can improve blood circulation which help distribute oxygen and nutrients to cells.  This in turn will boost our immune power to fight disease.

As a pathologist, I often have opportunity to observe cancer cells respond to either oxygen or carbon dioxide.  My observation is that cancer cells thrive on oxygen-deficient environment. Thus if we provide oxygen to our cells via exercise, we can slow down cancer growth in our human body.


The exercise I am taking now is mountain climbing.  Mountain climbing initially was not my favor exercise.  My husband nudged me into this sport; he got everything ready, backpack, water, food before the dawn on each Sunday.  Initially, I would make excuses not to participate:  too sunny, too windy, or raining, etc.  Initially, even a small distance would put me on the bed for many days.  Today, 20 km walk on the hill is an easy task for me.  Someday, I could even walk 40 km on the hill.

Changing Mental Attitude to Life--Smile more, get angry less, be empathetic to life and relax

Smile or laughter is the best medicine. When we laugh, our cells are relaxed and full of vitality.  That can boost up our immune power.  Even fake laugh will help.  After I got cancer, learning the habit of laughing was a big lesson for me.

One day, there was a very depressed cancer patient came to see me.  She took her little girl with her.  I asked little girl if her mom was scared of 'tickling'.  The little girl said, 'yes'.  Then I secretly told the little girl to tickle her mom each time her mom went to bed.  A month later, the patient's depression disappeared because she laughed every night when her daughter tickle her every night.

Learning not to get angry was a difficult lesson for me because my natural tendency was to get even when some one 'step on my toe'.  Today, I had changed my attitude with a reminder, "getting angry is my self punishment while other people made mistakes."  But this took sometime for me to learn not to get angry.

Be positive to life is also very important for healing.  When I was at early stage of lymphoma, because I was scared (of death).  On top of that, I had relation problem (My boy friend left me when I needed him most.), and career problem (My boss asked me to resign immediately.).  I was very depressed during those years.  The depression certainly did not help healing.  Today, I am on the late stage of lymphoma.  Doctors told me that there were no more 'treatments' (prescription drugs, surgery, or radiation) available to cure my cancer.  But, I am taking the responsibility of healing myself.  I have my 'secret weapons' of healing.  I have a mission to live so that I can be an example to many cancer patients who have lost hope.  There are many patients who came to see me.  Before they saw me, they were scared, they were depressed.  However, once they saw me, their faces began to smile.  They saw me as living example that often doctors' words are often wrong especially when they tried to predict how long could a patient live.

To those patients who are very sick and very depressed, I often told them that although we have no control how long we would live, we have absolute control on how well we live.  We can decide to either live our life miserably, or live our lives cheerfully.  Once the patients stop worrying about death, they often improve their health.  There is a lot of mind-body medicine in healing that few doctors know about.


Learning how to live with cancers

Once a patient gets cancer, the cancer will never go away.  However, that doesn't mean the patient would die of cancer.  Being a pathologist I had opportunity to look through a microscope observing on cells taking from a patient who had 26 years of remission of the nose cancer.  Well, the biopsy showed that cancer cells were still there; but they were surrounded by normal cells.  As long as we are healthy, we can keep the cancer at bay.   My lymphoma is a live example.  I am at the last-stage of lymphoma.  Most of you can see a tennis ball-size lump on my neck.  My doctors told me that I should have die long time ago. Did I die?   Cancer is a chronicle disease, so is type II diabetics.  Most patients know how to live with diabetics, so do patients can live with cancer.  I am just a living example.  I live with lymphoma, from stage-1 to the last stage for 40 years.  Doctors told me I should have die long time ago.  But I am still here to tell you that cancer can be managed.  We can live with cancer.

[End of the story.]

Mandarin text

調整飲食習慣是改善體質最直接而快速的方法。一般人的營養,都是從嘴巴吃進去的。 

這是說,製造體內負責新陳代謝的每一個細胞的材料,都是由飲食而來。從另一個角度來看,也可以這麼說:   你就是由你吃下去的食物變成的。所以,如果飲食中充滿致癌性物質,日後又怎麼可能不患上癌症? 

食品添加物,是另外一個使食物的品質發生改變的因素。 

因為食品添加物有很多都是致癌物質,如果常吃加過工食物,到底會同時吃進多少致癌物質,還真沒有辦法知道。飲食的量,也會影響營養。過去,在貧窮的時代,吃得不夠,營養不良,當然會影響體質。 

現在,經濟情況良好,倒是吃得太多,而造成營養不平衡,也累垮消化組織,引起所謂的文明病,像高血壓、心臟病、肥胖症、糖尿病等等,使體質受到影響。 

針對這些情形,要做的飲食習慣改變,原則上,是保持飲食平衡,不吃添加物,不吃腐敗食物,不吃肉類,多吃蔬菜、水果。 五種癌一定要吃素 吃素身體越來越好。由於並沒有任何宗教因素驅使我非吃素不可,因此,我知道,面對這種情形,是腸胃要求我不要再吃這類食物了。 

一直到今天,吃素十多年,看著自己的身體因為飲食習慣的改變而愈來愈好後,每當遇到胃癌、大腸癌、子宮頸癌、乳癌及前列腺癌的患者時,我一定會力勸這些病友要改吃素食,至於其他癌症患者則可依照「四條腿的先 不要吃,兩條腿的慢慢戒,最後再從沒有腿的著手」的原則,逐步改掉吃肉的習慣。至於為什麼這五種癌友一定要吃素? 

因為子宮頸癌、乳癌及前列腺癌與荷爾蒙息息相關,而肉類不但含荷爾蒙多,而且也易轉變為荷爾蒙,增加致癌因子。其實腸胃原本只需要穀物、蔬果,就足夠達到新陳代謝的目的。一味地吃肉,只會增加腸胃的負荷,累積有害身體的不潔物罷了。飲食如藥,須先了解病況體質,妥善配合。 全然生食,並非人人於各條件下都適合,有人問說是不是每個人都適合吃生機飲食?吃素食可以吃蔥蒜嗎? 

  我 的經驗認為不是每個人都適合完全用生食,而且,嚴格說來,東方人的體質大部份都不適合全然生食(須配合熟食天然穀類等),如果一定要吃生食的話,最好先找 對生機飲食也有體驗的中醫師把把脈,作整體評估,看看體質是否適合吃。至於蔥蒜的問題,以蒜來說,一個人如果身體狀況良好的話,絕對不需要靠蒜來殺菌,而 蔥則會影響身體荷爾蒙的分泌及情緒變化,對健康不見得有正面幫助。 

又有人問說吃素食時,需不需要喝牛奶、吃雞蛋?我認為牛奶是養小牛的,不是養人的:至於雞蛋原本是孵小雞的,其實,一粒糙米就像雞蛋一樣是完整營養,多吃糙米,與吃雞蛋沒有兩樣。 或許有些人認為,不喝牛奶、不吃蛋,無法攝取足夠的鈣質,事實上,鈣質並不一定要從蛋類和牛奶中攝取,一切有根的蔬菜基本上都含有鈣質。 

  另 一方面,有些人可能擔心鈣質攝取量不夠的話,容易罹患骨質疏鬆症,其實,骨質疏鬆的問題並不像大家所想的那麼嚴重,根據調查顯示,全球骨質疏鬆症罹患率最 高的地區是阿拉斯加,其次是美國和歐洲,中國大陸則很少,原因為何,因為阿拉斯加人常年吃魚,美國和歐洲人民又經常吃肉所致,換句話說,沒吃肉、牛奶和蛋 類,像中國大陸人民並不會因而罹患骨質疏鬆症。 只要 多運動、多吃糙米和全麥麵包,自然就可避免骨質疏鬆症

運動是改變體質的根本辦法 

每 個人的身體,本來就具有抵禦外侵的毒物、或癌症的能力。只是,身體的內在環境和身體外的大環境,都有過多有害的因素,使身體的這種免疫能力發生障礙,疾病 和癌症才不可避免地發生。而運動,則可使身體內在環境的細胞,藉促進血液循環,以帶動氧氣和營養,反過來,又使細胞增加活力。因此,人體的免疫力,便能增 加。病後,我開始做的運動是爬山。 

我 說的爬山,並不真是去做爬上高山的運動,只不過是在那些有產業道路的小山走走而已。那時,憑良心說,我並不喜歡爬山。我參加爬山,可以說是被我丈夫強迫 的。每個星期日,他早就把背包、乾糧、水壺準備好了,然後把我拉起來上路。因為我的身體太過虛弱的緣故,爬那樣的山,對我仍然是件苦事。他說我那段時期的 山,是出太陽怕走、下雨怕走,吹風怕走。 

其 實,之所以會出太陽怕走,是因為經過治療以後,我的體質很差,曬了太陽,皮膚就會發癢。之所以會下雨怕走,是因為我怕感冒。經過治療,我的身體很差,簡直 不能同別人比。普通的天氣,別人不容易感冒,偏偏我卻會感冒。之所以會吹風怕走,也是有原因。治療以後,我的血液循環很差,手腳常都冰冷。 

爬山時,別人是一爬就出汗,我卻要爬了半天,身體才會熱,如果有風,則會反而越走越冷,很受不了。儘管這樣,我的爬山時走時停,但時間累積下來,我還是嚐到了它給我的好處,我的健康竟然緩緩地在進步。 

現在,癢的問題,已經不知不覺地消失,風雨對我來說,也不是阻力。經過不斷磨練,而今,我的爬山和走路的本領,卻已越來越有進步。過去,走短短的路,便要流淚,甚至大病一場。現在,體力增加了,走 20 公里 路,已是家常便飯,甚至還有過一天走 40 公里 的紀錄。 

幾 年前,還在經過兩年的準備之後,登上玉山,來作為對我的體能的考驗,結果,我很歡喜我的成績,我通過了。兩年前,我改變了工作環境,每天早上先去爬山,在 山上吸它兩個鐘頭的芬多精,回家洗個澡才去上班,現在看到我的人,都說我比以前健康,我則會加上一句:「天天爬山,明年會更好。」你的細胞看起來很累,趕 快去爬山補充氧氣,癌細胞會回歸正常。 

在實驗室養癌細胞,如果加氧,癌細胞就養不好,如果加二氧化碳,癌細胞就養得很好。這表示,我們自己把體內環境弄到缺氧,細胞才無可奈何變成癌細胞來適應環境,如果把環境裡的缺氧因素刪掉,補充氧份,其實癌細胞是會回歸正常的。 

30 年來,我看過無數病人,那些肯聽我話而去爬山,甚至天天爬山的人,身體的改善都很明顯。現在,每當我透過顯微鏡看到病人或友人的細胞顯出缺氧的狀況時,我都會提醒對方:「你的細胞缺氧,看起來很累,趕快去爬山。」 

笑、不生氣、正面看、放鬆   四招多活三十年 

除了生理因素之外,要克服病魔,還必須從心理層面下手,像笑、不生氣及以正面態度看待一切事情,還有學習放鬆,即是我這麼多年來能夠降服疾病的一大原因。 

學 習笑是一項很特別的功課。因為我知道,笑的時候,尤其是大笑的時候,身體內的細胞是放鬆的。細胞只有在完全放鬆的時候,才能圓圓潤潤,充滿活力,足以應付 外侮。剛開始學笑,其實不是真心想笑,而是勉強去把嘴巴拉成笑的樣子,可是久而久之,心裡自然會加以配合,真的變得成天都開開心心的樣子。 

得到癌症以後,學笑便成為我的生活課題之一。有一次,一位病人眉頭深鎖地來找我,我看到她鬱鬱寡歡的樣子,便問陪同母親前來的小女孩,「妳媽媽怕不怕癢?」小女孩說「怕癢。」於是,我稍稍地告訴女孩,「以後媽媽躺在床上的時候,妳就搔她癢。」 結果,這位母親在每天大笑一回的情形下,慢慢地紓解了深鎖的眉頭。 

生氣是別人做錯事,我懲罰自己 

學習不生氣是一項比較困難的功課。因為我為人耿直、又愛打抱不平,一看到不合理或不公平的事,拔刀相助的精神便來了。自從我了解「生氣的定義是別人做錯事,我懲罰我自己。」以後,我便開始努力去實踐,不過,積習難改,我的這個過程還是經過了四、五年,才看到一點點成績。 

剛開始,別人挑釁我,我還是會馬上反應,接著便後悔;然後,別人在挑釁,我會看到自己快要動氣,於是,馬上逃到看不到挑釁的地方,再慢慢調整自己的情緒;然後,我漸漸不需要逃離現場也能壓住脾氣可是還需要在心裡說:「你好可憐。」 來平衡自己的情緒; 現在,我什麼都看到,卻可以一直保持笑容。 

                                            

持正面的態度對疾病的療效有極大的影響。像我得癌前期,由於挫折連連,對人生、前途無信心,療效不彰。但得癌後期,由於對人生、前途恢復信心,雖然沒有治療,身體卻反而慢慢好起來。因此,自從我的健康進步了以後,除了我的專業,我最樂意做的一件事,便是為癌症病人打氣。 

每當一個垂頭喪氣,以為末日將至的癌症病人,被介紹來看我以後,往往經過一番疑問的解釋,尤其是當他看到我這個活生生的例子,朝氣蓬勃地站在他的面前,他的信心便很容易地能建立起來。 

於是,這個垂著頭,苦著臉進來的病人,結果,卻能昂起頭,臉上充滿笑意地踏出我的辦公室。我做的事,並不是顯露奇蹟。只是,我讓那些癌症病人看到「希望」,讓他們的情緒,能很快從消極變為積極。 

甚至有癌症患者來找我時,我會說「恭喜你得癌症」,對方一聽,自然會覺得莫名其妙,我解釋,「假如你不得癌症,怎麼會改變飲食習慣?怎麼會開始運動?又怎麼會學笑呢? 

再說,從今天開始,你的生活會一天天地變好、一天天地有品質,這樣一來,怎麼會不值得恭喜?」 於是,對方一聽,果然對自己罹病的情形釋懷了許多。待患者情緒比較平穩地,要離開時,我又會說,「再恭喜你一次。」 

對方一聽,又是一頭霧水,「既然之前已經恭喜了,有什麼事還值得再恭喜一次?」 

這時,我會不疾不徐地回答,「我把 30 年來對抗癌症的養生經驗一下子交給你,這難道不是一件值得恭喜的事?」就這樣,對方帶著飽滿、知足的感覺離開。 

善用「多賺 30 年的法寶」

 

如 果凡事從正面思考,事事會變得非常美好:反之,凡事都從負面思考,事事都變得相當糟糕。就像我先生為了我好,毅然決然地把家裡的電話線拔掉,以免我下了班 後,還要接聽一大堆電話,雖然這似乎對我有些不方便,但是,從另一個角度來看,能夠安安靜靜地利用下班時間做瑜伽、運動,對身體不是反而有很大的幫助嗎? 再說,真有什麼重要的事,隔天打到辦公室就可以了,何須罣礙在心? 

放鬆看起來很容易,其實卻是最困難的,因為放鬆要從心做起。心真的放鬆,身體的細胞才能放鬆。而心要放鬆,必須放下很多現世間的價值觀,包括名、利、情 ... 等。我的方法是從清抽屜開始,久已不用的東西,馬上送走、放開,衣服物品也是,甚至延伸至人際關係,於是人變得活得很簡單、很樸素,人就輕鬆了。 

當年,醫生宣判我只有六個月的生命,如今,我認為自己「多賺了 30 多年」。為何如此?笑、不生氣及正面看事情、學放鬆應該是重要的法寶!

 

  改得越多好得越快 

這些年來,我不但看了不少癌症病人,更與其中一部份病人變成朋友,共同奮鬥,分享彼此的經驗,互相鼓勵,努力活下去。我們發覺,活得超長及活得越有聲有色的人,往往都是勇於自省,及堅持修正自己的生活方式的人。「改得越多,改得越徹底,好得越快。」已經成了我們的原則。 

營養是細胞藉以維生的資糧,如果天天吃下充滿抗生素及賀爾蒙的家畜肉類,細胞想不生病也不成。充滿農藥及加工化學物質的食物,也會使細胞中毒。只有回歸自然,才能使細胞恢復生機。 

運動的好處是使身體的循環順暢,把養分及氧氣帶到該去的地方,對生病的細胞,尤為重要。如果選擇一、兩種自己喜愛或適合的運動,持之以恆地做下去,總有一天,成績會自然顯露出來。 

心理的調適,極為重要。要知道,自己身體裡的細胞,到底是聽自己的還是聽別人的呢?當然是聽自己的。那麼,自己對細胞下達的命令,便不應下那些不利於細胞的命令,例如生氣、煩惱、消極 .... ,細胞無外顧之憂,才較容易應付內患,對癌的免疫能力,才容易增加,才是根本解決癌症的辦法。 

自我反省乃至身體力行,只要堅持,這些事並沒有想像的那麼困難,而且,如果繼續堅持下去,所有疾病,甚至癌症,都會自動讓步,讓健康的細胞抬頭

Saturday, November 9, 2013

I live with lymphoma for 40 years--Healing Story, Part II, Tuberculosis and Hepatitis

(Continued from Part 1,  Lee Feng Healing Story)

TB and Hepatitis
 
From 1977 to 1997, while I survived lymphoma for 20 years, I was still very feeble.  I took a lot of prescribed medications (except for chemo prescriptions), often use one prescription to counteract the side effects from the other prescription.

In 1997, I was hospitalized in Taiwan University Hospital because of 2-week continuous high fever.  Doctors told me that I had stage-3 tuberculosis (TB).  I was very depressed, but I followed doctor's directions taking the prescription drugs for TB.  Three days after I took the drugs for TB, I was found of having acute hepatitis because of the toxic effects of the prescription drugs. I disobeyed doctor's order again and stop taking prescription drugs.  Everyday I meditated as long as I was awake.

Doctor's Wrong Diagnosis of TB   

A month later, I took another chest x-ray exam, TB miraculously disappeared.  I realized that TB was actually an error of  doctors' diagnosis , because TB would not disappear simply by meditation with the medication.  This led me to a deep thought: (1) Doctors could make mistake.  TB diagnosis was a clear example; (2) I have taken so many prescription drugs every day for last 20 years.  Each prescription drug had its side effects.  Someday should I die, did I die because of the cancer, or because of the prescription drugs?

After this incidence, I decided that from now on, I would depend upon more on self-healing, and nothing from the prescription drugs.  Illness and symptoms were simply what those cells calling for help.

Our responsibility to remain healthy

Prescription drugs were like magic bullets that patients were depended upon.  [However, magic bullets were good only for acute problems.]  For chronic problems, patients needed to take responsibility themselves.  This fundamental self-discovery helped me to recover from illness:  I have never been hospitalized since then.  Illness was not because of the rebellion of our own cells, it was because we had abused our cells for so long that cells needed to mutate to adjust to our abuse.  With this understanding and the approaches that will be presented in Part III, I have never been hospitalized.  Even the lymphoma did not disappear, I am still alive and well.

To be continued on Part III.

Mandarin Text

一直到十多年前,因為高燒兩個星期不退而住進了台大醫院,經過諸多檢查及會診,醫師宣布我第三度得到肺結核。當時我當然很沮喪,可是也只好乖乖認命,照醫師的處方服藥。在服藥第三天抽血檢查時,竟發現還因服抗結核藥物而罹患了中毒性肝炎。 於是我很自然地又反叛醫命,停止服藥。每天不是睡覺,就是靜坐。 

經 過一個月,再照胸部放射線檢查,發現醫師說的肺結核竟然不見了。這個發現讓我瞭解,一個月前的肺結核應該是誤診,因為肺結核是不可能不吃藥而在一個月內痊 癒的。這個發現,讓我不斷深思,平白吃這麼多藥,卻惹來一身副作用。我以後到底是會因癌症而死?還是因其他併發症而死?這次住院,讓我下了決心,從此不再 靠藥物,果然從那以後,我沒有再吞過任何一顆藥丸。

信念:健康靠自己自我反省 

這次住院,也讓我看到了西醫的極限,我開始深思除了藥物以外的方法,也讀了不少書,去探討甚至淺嚐了不少民俗療法,發現最根本的辦法,還是靠自己,靠自己去做觀念的修正與飲食生活的調整。 

經過十多年的努力,我發現我的想法是正確的,從此以後,我沒有再住過院,近年來連感冒都很少了。 

觀念的修正,其實就是自我反省。 

「我好好的,為什麼會得癌症?」很多人一聽到醫師宣布自己得了重病時,往往都會顯現出一副無辜的模樣,希望用切、割、毒、殺等外來方式去除疾病,然而,疾病真的會沒來由地產生嗎?世上絕對沒有這種「好好的就突然生病的事情」。 

以感冒為例,如果真要病人作自我反省的話,通常患者都會表示,自己在感冒之前,曾經一連熬了好幾個通宵:有些人會說,自己最近吹了冷風、淋了雨:有些人則說,工作的壓力很大,常常頭痛又失眠。 

事實上,諸如此類的現象,都是導致感冒的因素,接句話說,假使病人的敏感度及警覺性夠的話,自然能夠做到「防患未然」的目標。以我的親身經驗為例,在加拿大唸研究所時,所以會得到癌症,同樣是其來有自。 

首先,我天生怕冷,卻選擇到加拿大唸書,基本上已經違反了健康的大原則。 

其次,為了負擔家計,邊唸書、邊工作。常常為了多省下一些錢寄回家,以致於早、午餐都只吃一個三明治夾起司,到了晚上,才煮些麵條並搭配超市冷凍的青豆及便宜的雞胗、鴨胗。事後,我才明白,原來自己長時間吃進許多可怕、有害健康的食物。 

再加上老闆又是猶太人,對員工非常嚴苛,其身心所承受的壓力自然是可想而知。在那段工作緊張、沒有朋友,一天天重複著上班、下班及唸書的日子中,健康情形自然是每下愈況。還好,後來癌症救了我,讓我有足夠的理由離開那樣的環境,找到生路。 

生病,不是細胞叛逆,是自己無知對細胞加壓。其實,身體發生了疾病,並不是細胞叛逆,違反了主人的命令,而是主人無知,拚命對細胞加壓,卻不知道早已超過細胞能夠容忍的限度,於是,細胞只好應變。生病,不過是受不了委屈的細胞在喊救命的聲音而已。 

如果把觀念改一改,承認生病該由自己負責,對自己的行為,心生慚愧,而努力自我反省,並感恩不盡地以滿心歡喜的心情去看待自己的改變,儘量善待自己的細胞,努力不讓它們受到委屈。 

如有需要,再配合適當的醫藥治療,那麼,即使是病況已經相當嚴重,仍然有很大的痊癒空間。而且,不只癌症,得任何病即使治好了,不表示已經完全痊癒。若不善加調整觀念及生活、飲食,也都可能再得病

Sunday, November 3, 2013

I Lived with Lymphoma for 40 years--A Healing Story from Dr. Lee Feng (李豐)-Part 1

Dr. Chen's Note:  When I came back from sabbatical leave in Taiwan (2009), I was ill.  Many friends in Taiwan knew about it.  One of them sent me a healing story from Dr. Lee Feng.  This healing story has been my inspiration every time I am sick.  I hope this story could be an inspiration of many of my friends who are ill.

The original story was in Mandarin.  However, many of my friends who need help now cannot read Mandarin.  Thus, I re-write the story in English.  I will write as a narrative of Dr. Lee Feng.

Here is the story:

My name is Lee Feng.  I am a pathologist, earning pathology degrees from medical schools of National Taiwan University and Toronto University (Canada).

In 1977, I was at the last year of the graduate school program of the medical school of Toronto University.  I was 29 heading to 30 years old.  I had a boy friend.  I also had a pathologist position in a pathology lab in the Toronto area.  My future looked very bright for me.

Bright Future Turned into Dark Age


Unfortunately, I was diagnosed of having Lymphoma as confirmed by a biopsy.  My employer knew about it.  While expressing sympathy and kindness, my boss asked me to resign immediately so that I would not 'slow down' the progress of  the lab.  In the meantime, my boy friend left me.  Thus, I had lost my job and became socially isolated.  On top of that, I was stricken with a life-threatening lymphoma.

I received a surgery and a first-round of chemo treatment.  As a result of the chemo, my blood platelet counts plummeted and I bruised and bled easily.  Thus, I faced a dilemma of decisions:  (1) Continuing the chemo which would end up my bleeding to death either externally or internally. (2) Discontinuing the chemo treatment which my doctor told me that I would die from the cancer.  My doctor told me to continue the chemo even I could face dangerous side effects.

Disobey Doctor's Order  

I decided to stop all the chemo.  After earning a pathology degree, I went back to Taiwan.  Taiwan was much warmer than Canada.  Besides, I had relatives and friends in Taiwan; socially, I was no longer isolated and lonely.  Also, I got a pathologist position in one of the hospitals in Taipei.

I was still very weak and feeble. I took a lot of medications to counteract the side effects from the chemo treatment in Canada.  I was hospitalized several times.  You could say that my stomach had a large appetite for prescription drugs.

To be continued on Part 2.   The Mandarin's version of the narrative is shown as follows:

30 年前,當我還在加拿大的多倫多研究所進修,正慶幸尚有一年,研究所的功課便可以結束時,竟被發現患了癌症。 手術證實是癌症的第二天,我工作機構的老板來看我。首先,說了一大篇他心裡如何難過的客套話。 然後告訴我,在社會上做事,好比一個大機器中的小螺絲釘,只要中間有一個小螺絲釘停止工作,都會影響整個機器的工作效率。 接著,他指著我說:「而你,顯然會有很長一段時間不能工作,所以,很抱歉,請你馬上辭職。」

當我的男朋友也明顯地疏遠我時,我了解到,自己竟完全被孤立起來。我不但失去工作,已被社會遺棄,也被愛自己的人遺棄,而且,還被自己的健康所遺棄。我的生存價值,幾乎完全被否定掉。因此,我的情緒降到最低點,我想到自殺。 

癌症經過手術,很多個療程的放射性治療,因為療效不佳,經過一年多,仍然時好時壞地原地打轉,癌並沒有完全消失。最後只剩下化學治療一個辦法。當時的化療,以目前的眼光看起來,是相當粗糙的。 

治療了一段時間後,血小板變得很少,不小心一碰,到處都會瘀青,如果內部大量出血,就可能致命。與主治醫師商量,是否可以暫時停止治療,主冶醫師竟然不同意。在這種「吃藥會出血致死,不吃藥又會病死」的情形下,做病人的我,的確非常為難。 考慮再三,決定作個反叛的病人,我自己把化學治療停掉了。現在回想起來,是當年的反叛救了自己。 

丟掉藥罐子調養身心 

直到回到國內,回到熟悉的環境,不但重新獲得舊日友情的溫暖,而且,還很幸運地恢復了工作。這些轉變,使我的情緒漸漸由消極轉變為積極,癌雖然還在,我卻漸漸學到如何與它和平相處,它並沒有再發。 可是由於身體很孱弱,治療後的副作用層出不窮,不斷住院又出院,我也變成肚量很大的藥罐子.