I Lived with Lymphoma for 40 years--A Healing Story from Dr. Lee Feng (李豐)-Part 1

Dr. Chen's Note:  When I came back from sabbatical leave in Taiwan (2009), I was ill.  Many friends in Taiwan knew about it.  One of them sent me a healing story from Dr. Lee Feng.  This healing story has been my inspiration every time I am sick.  I hope this story could be an inspiration of many of my friends who are ill.

The original story was in Mandarin.  However, many of my friends who need help now cannot read Mandarin.  Thus, I re-write the story in English.  I will write as a narrative of Dr. Lee Feng.

Here is the story:

My name is Lee Feng.  I am a pathologist, earning pathology degrees from medical schools of National Taiwan University and Toronto University (Canada).

In 1977, I was at the last year of the graduate school program of the medical school of Toronto University.  I was 29 heading to 30 years old.  I had a boy friend.  I also had a pathologist position in a pathology lab in the Toronto area.  My future looked very bright for me.

Bright Future Turned into Dark Age


Unfortunately, I was diagnosed of having Lymphoma as confirmed by a biopsy.  My employer knew about it.  While expressing sympathy and kindness, my boss asked me to resign immediately so that I would not 'slow down' the progress of  the lab.  In the meantime, my boy friend left me.  Thus, I had lost my job and became socially isolated.  On top of that, I was stricken with a life-threatening lymphoma.

I received a surgery and a first-round of chemo treatment.  As a result of the chemo, my blood platelet counts plummeted and I bruised and bled easily.  Thus, I faced a dilemma of decisions:  (1) Continuing the chemo which would end up my bleeding to death either externally or internally. (2) Discontinuing the chemo treatment which my doctor told me that I would die from the cancer.  My doctor told me to continue the chemo even I could face dangerous side effects.

Disobey Doctor's Order  

I decided to stop all the chemo.  After earning a pathology degree, I went back to Taiwan.  Taiwan was much warmer than Canada.  Besides, I had relatives and friends in Taiwan; socially, I was no longer isolated and lonely.  Also, I got a pathologist position in one of the hospitals in Taipei.

I was still very weak and feeble. I took a lot of medications to counteract the side effects from the chemo treatment in Canada.  I was hospitalized several times.  You could say that my stomach had a large appetite for prescription drugs.

To be continued on Part 2.   The Mandarin's version of the narrative is shown as follows:

30 年前，當我還在加拿大的多倫多研究所進修，正慶幸尚有一年，研究所的功課便可以結束時，竟被發現患了癌症。 手術證實是癌症的第二天，我工作機構的老板來看我。首先，說了一大篇他心裡如何難過的客套話。 然後告訴我，在社會上做事，好比一個大機器中的小螺絲釘，只要中間有一個小螺絲釘停止工作，都會影響整個機器的工作效率。 接著，他指著我說：「而你，顯然會有很長一段時間不能工作，所以，很抱歉，請你馬上辭職。」

當我的男朋友也明顯地疏遠我時，我了解到，自己竟完全被孤立起來。我不但失去工作，已被社會遺棄，也被愛自己的人遺棄，而且，還被自己的健康所遺棄。我的生存價值，幾乎完全被否定掉。因此，我的情緒降到最低點，我想到自殺。 

癌症經過手術，很多個療程的放射性治療，因為療效不佳，經過一年多，仍然時好時壞地原地打轉，癌並沒有完全消失。最後只剩下化學治療一個辦法。當時的化療，以目前的眼光看起來，是相當粗糙的。 

治療了一段時間後，血小板變得很少，不小心一碰，到處都會瘀青，如果內部大量出血，就可能致命。與主治醫師商量，是否可以暫時停止治療，主冶醫師竟然不同意。在這種「吃藥會出血致死，不吃藥又會病死」的情形下，做病人的我，的確非常為難。 考慮再三，決定作個反叛的病人，我自己把化學治療停掉了。現在回想起來，是當年的反叛救了自己。 

丟掉藥罐子調養身心 

直到回到國內，回到熟悉的環境，不但重新獲得舊日友情的溫暖，而且，還很幸運地恢復了工作。這些轉變，使我的情緒漸漸由消極轉變為積極，癌雖然還在，我卻漸漸學到如何與它和平相處，它並沒有再發。 可是由於身體很孱弱，治療後的副作用層出不窮，不斷住院又出院，我也變成肚量很大的藥罐子.