Self Love by David Hamilton

The following stories were from David Hamilton, one of the Hay House Summit speakers. David is a Ph.D in organic chemistry. He is speaking about 'Self-Love'

I grew up in Scotland working family. We were poor. One night, while I was going to sleep, I overheard that my mom was weeping and begging my dad to buy Christmas presents for me and for my sister. That night, I also wept, partially felt empathy to my mom; partially felt guilty because my mom spent all her money for the family while I spent all the money for myself.


When the school field trip came (in 1976), and all students needed to bring 5 cents to school for a bus ride, I did not ask my mom to give me money.


I was reprimand by the teacher for not bringing 5 cents to school. The teacher said to the class asking all other students to come forward to receive a yellow badge except me. The teacher said that David Hamilton was not good enough.

As a school child, I did not understand the complexity of the adult decision. To me, the yellow badge was a sign of belonging; and I did not belong.

Before the incidence, I was who I was. I had no problem of self-love. After the incidence, I became overly concerned what I have. Because 'What I have' can come and go, I never felt 'self-love' for myself. I am sure, most people feel the same. When we identify ourselves as what we have, we never feel 'self-love' for ourselves. Unfortunately, we have been per-programmed one way or another by our environment, teachers, peers, siblings, and parents.

Thus, to get out this trap for 'self-love' is to mentally believe ourselves that we have enough and we are enough.

Standing tall and having the confidence is relevant to self-love and is important for a life transformation. Harvard had a clinical studies which consisted two groups of volunteer: One group was instructed to stand like a 'Wonder Woman'; while the other group volunteers were instructed to have a weak pose. After 15 minutes, saliva samples were taken from each volunteer and hormone levels were analyzed. Those volunteers with a confidence pose had higher level of dopamine. Thus, a mental attitude of confidence even a fake one is useful.

Being authentic and show our vulnerability are often considered as a no-no in our society especially for men, is contrary useful to help us connect with other human beings I learn this hard lesson from fearing about losing my faithful companion, my dog, Oscar One day, my 12-year old dog, Oscar, was diagnosed as having a terminal cancer. I was devastated so was my partner, Elizabeth. However, since I grew up in Scotland, and Scottish men never cry, I never showed up my emotion in public. Quite contrary, Elizabeth, freely expressed her emotion. I observed that people had more connections and empathy with her than with me. A week later, I visited my mom and my dad. I broke up into tears telling my fear of losing a faithful companion. My mom hugged me. My dad did not say anything; however, he opened the door for me, a gesture of kindness, when I was about to leave. My dad never did that before. The message I would like to convey is that showing vulnerability and being authentic helps us to connect and to love ourselves.