When I have no judgement, I see everyone with kindness

The following message is taken from one of the teaching sessions of Oprah and Deepak 21 days Manifest Grace through Gratitude. This session is about why we should not be judgmental against another human being.

Intrinsic connection between gratitude and compassion. Compassion is about knowing that you are human, I am human; we are all connected with similarity outweigh the difference. When we judge another human being, we deny the connection that tie us all. If we refrain from judgement, we become a conduit for peace and happiness.

There is a hidden link between gratitude and compassion. When we feed kindness in our heart, we are compassionate. This has been taught both by Jesus and Buddha. However, for most of us, compassion seems to be impossible when we are judgmental or someone had committed evil deeds. Judgement is fueled by sense of rightfulness. Our ego enjoy the judgement to the fullest. It is like nothing is better than the feeling that we are the in the right. The problem with the judgement is that if we are in the right, then we put someone else in the wrong. Judgement provides a powerful sense of separation. On the other side of the gulf, the person we judge against, they will also be judging us as harshly as we do to him. Being thankful is the opposite of being judgmental. When we are thankful for something or for someone, we cannot be judgmental at the same time. This part has a great healing power. So, next time, if we have to be judgmental against someone, always find reasons to be thankful for that person is in your life. Getting down the judgmental chair, it completely shift our attitude. Instead of condemning, try to help the person, and offer forgiveness. In the absence of judgement, there is nothing to resent. Grudging begins to lose ground. When we forgive, our awareness becomes more inclusive that opens up the door of compassion linking every human being together with empathy. This shared empathy deepens our humanity. When we stop judging someone else, we stop judging ourselves. If we get to that state, we are then in the state of grace and awakening.

Loving with gratitude

The following is a recording message from Oprah and Deepak's "Manifest Grace through Gratitude".

According to Marianne Williamson, there are only 2 emotions in life: love and fear. When we open up love with gratitude, something miraculously happen. Fear starts to melt away. Love is life's great teacher. Through love, we experience joy, acceptance and freedom. Gratitude is not someone receives or responds to us, but rather about how we connect the true expressions of ourselves. When we choose to love everything around us, we send to clear message to the Universe: My love transcends fear, anger, and rejection. I love you even to those who hurts me because they are the persons who really need love most. I thank you for the experience, good or bad, which has shaped me who I am today. Loving fearlessly through gratitude is one of the greatest thing a human being can do.

Grace has been connected to love in every wisdom tradition. Sages and spiritual guides teach us that divine love doesn't have to be deserved. To a modern person, this seems to be unreasonable, because for most of us, we withdraw love when we are displeased. God, or whatever name applied to the 'High Power' seems to love bad people too. This is the central part of grace. The reason is that grace is not a choice. Whether or not, we believe in the Higher Power, grace exists in infinite field of consciousness. It is the supporting principle behind everything in nature. Including our lives. Clearly we can choose to think whatever we like, without nature's support, our body cannot exist for more than a few minutes. Spiritually, this support is called the divine love. We don't have to accept the word or the idea of divine to accept the basic idea here. Love is already a part of our awareness. We can choose to express it or not. To give a little love, or a lot. If we choose to give a lot, something magical happens. We become who we really are. This is one of the most joyful aspect of love, but also the most frightening for most people. We hold back the expression of love for fearing of being rejected, of seeming needy or weak, or exposing us our own insecurity or vulnerability. But nothing stops us from giving thanks to someone sharing our life. This act of gratitude gladdens the heart and awakens the grace in our life. Love is active when it is expressed. Gratitude simplifies love by removing the ego. The mother's love for a child with fearless appreciation of the child is the template for merging love with gratitude. Love is an expression of unity that we share with other people. Love means overcoming the feeling of separation. It brings us for completion that denies to the ego.

The more grateful I am, the more my life is supported

The following is Deepak's words in "Manifest Grace through Gratitude", Day 11 recording message. Enjoy the reading.

In the moment of grace, we feel safe and worthy. The atmosphere of love is all around us. These 'privileged' moments are beautiful. But if we look through this on the moment, we will see nature is generous and supportive. We are supported all the time because we are unique in the cosmic universe. No one like us has ever existed and we can not be replaced. It takes inner growth to see this truth and own it. Every time we meditate and express gratitude, we move one step closer to this truth. This is not the fulfillment we must postpone. We can live right now with the perspective that Nature is supporting us. Abundance and generosity fills the Nature's Law. The only separation comes from our own imposition through our old conditioning and wrong beliefs. The more we appreciate,the more we realize the extent that Nature has done for us. Feeling unworthy or feel victimized, these are symptoms of constricted awareness. We become 'someone' standing on a river and are able to drink from a symbol. If we realize these symptoms are our current situation, we need to take actions to correct the situation. Meditation and gratitude allow us to correct the situations.

The reason that Nature is generous is because its constant replenishment keeps the lives going and growing. Without this generosity, a rose bud cannot grow into a bloom neither can a human being. Once we are aware of this truth, we can be more generous in our life. Giving isn't a loss anymore; but a passing of gift that is always renewed. Expanding on the inside is reflected on the greater success of the outside. Gratitude links these 2 domains of life, the inner and the outer.

Gratitude flows in every loving relationship

The following messages are from Oprah and Deepak in their "Manifest Grace through Gratitude" Day 10 recording. Enjoy reading it and welcome your comments.

Gratitude expands every relationship. When we feel gratitude at the moment, we cultivate up acceptance and openness to the person we are relating to. We accept everything 'as is'. We connect what really matters. This is the most powerful gift to the person in our life. In this way, we dissolve the difference that separates us from one another, and open a way for deeper connection.

Whatever relationship needs is a touch of grace which is triggered when we show gratitude to the other person. Gratitude is magical as it dissolves differences and removes obstacles. But the magic really comes down to the basic facts: To have a fulfilling relationship, we must relate. There is an unbroken flow between us and the person we are relating to. The things we give and the things we receive are the life of the relationship. Giving is most powerful at the emotional level. If we express gratitude to our partners, our words are metabolized in the brain of both the giver and the receiver that manifest mental and physiological changes on both the giver and the receiver. Think about the difference you would feel when someone is thankful to us in their life. It soothes the heart and dissolves all the grievance and resentment. Relationship flourishes when we are able to offer ourselves to one another with unlimited love,compassion, kindness and understanding. This idea is hard to reach without our expanded awareness. Our own desires and ego needs stands the way. But our true-self knows better. Grace accomplishes what ego cannot. We are not loaded up when we express gratitude. Instead, we are opening up for infinite awareness which can accomplish everything. The reverse is true when we stop giving and receiving, the flow of the grace is constricted. Grace through gratitude can keep this flow to open even when the relationship is constricted. Be grateful here and now; don't indulge in the illusion of the old dream. The real potential is waiting to be awaken. When we allow ourselves to be grateful, we form a bond with our partners that heeds separation. This is how the relationship enable a couple to accomplish any difficult tasks when two are one.

Another story I read from Shamhala Publisher Sampler is about a couple seeking help from a marriage councilor. The councilor advises the couple to do each other a random kindness and express gratitude each time your partner practice kindness. These mutual 'kindness' and 'gratitude' help the couple to save the broken relationship.

Being the author of our life story

The following message comes from Chopra in his 21-day manifest grace through gratitude.

Reality is always personal. Every experience is filtered through our own attitude and core values. Our mood also affects how the reality really looks. Our emotion is always responding even they are not visible. Therefore, no two people exists in the same reality. We are unique on how we see the world. The wisdom teaches us everything starts with our own awareness. Therefore, this is the place that we can take control of our personal reality. Are we beautiful, intelligent, creative, loyal? we don't need reassurance from outside sources or other persons. We are the true sources of all the qualities who we really are. Only we can be our own author of our life stories. The unique thing is that we still can change our life story outcomes at any moment; possibilities do not have an expiration date. Everyday is a day for a new world. Even we see the same people everyday, eat the same breakfast and watch the same TV show, it is a different 'self' who does these things. We will never be the person we were yesterday; or the same person we will be tomorrow. Gratitude connects us to today's reality. If the 'self' from our 'thought' is constantly changing, holding the reality to our thought is an illusion. When we let go the illusion, what remains are real which is our true-self. Begin to experience life based on the freshness of every moment. This is how grace constantly renew itself. This is how we become the author of our own life stories.

Gratitude enriches present moment

Every present moment has its own energy, its own feeling and has its own signature. This brings something very practical. Grace can only be found at the present moment and no where else. When we feel alive, we are at the present moment. The connection happens automatically. However, living at present is always a challenge living in this consumption-oriented society. Everyday we are bombarded with the message that we always have something we don't have and we have to 'buy': there is an ideal beauty to strive for, and expensive symbols for perfect life. No one is supposed to have a perfect life right at this moment. 'Getting one' involves constant postponement. But whatever we postpone, we are not experiencing here and now. The feeling of living at present is always lacking. 'Life right now' is not enough.

Gratitude turns this around. We learn how to appreciate what we have been given right at this moment. We are not stuck in the past or in the anxiety of the future. Gratitude shifts our attention from what do don't have to what we have at the present moment. It changes our empty habits of constant anxiety getting something else to feel complete.

Spiritual leaders taught us, "Say Yes to the present moment" and "Say Yes to life." Both Oprah and Deepak want us to change the phrase from 'Say Yes' to "Thank you." This is the message from Oprah and Deepak's "Manifest Grace through Gratitude" Day 6 message.

Any comment?

Gratitude awakens trueself

According to Deepak, each person has many 'self'. The one shown at the work place; the one shown in the family; with a lover; or with the person we dislike. But all of these are temporary. We identify with them when they are needed. But deep inside our heart is our "true self". The "true self" is silent but not passive. The "true self" can be brought to active role by practicing gratitude. Once "true-self" is awaken, everything you see, you hear, you taste, etc. is all wonderful. When you see a beautiful flower or butterfly, you will say, "that is me". There is no separation between you and the universe. You are in a state of grace. It is like still water deep in the ocean. On the surface, there are waves, schools of life or emotion. But the water in the deep ocean is still. It is called "Still water runs deep" waiting to be awakening to take an active role for our life.

This message to me is a diversion between Buddhism (or what Deepak preaches) and Christianity. Deepak believes that true-self is a grace and it can be awakened through practicing gratitude. In Christianity, all human beings are sinners. They can reach the state of grace only through repentance.

What is your opinion?